ADHD Or Just Normal Toddler Behavior??? :)

I wouldn't be so quick to try and "categorize" what seems to be normal boy/toddler behavior into a disorder. Sounds like he may need some boundaries on what he can/can not do so don't ALWAYS give in to get his way, or he will be the one ruling the home. If he's just active, then you need to put that activity to use like outside play, the park, swimming lessons?? I think many people are mis-diagnosed into so many disorders these days, when it's just simply either a lack of nutrition, attention, sleep or so many other reasons. Not to say some people really do have ADHD, just that it seems too easy to categorize someones behavior as a "disorder".

Get a grip D.:
Your Toddler sounds like a Healthy ,active,child,who happens to be advanced in his motor skills. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be of benifit for some mothers to visit a hospital,where children this age,are unable to function at all.You need to realize,that Boys this age are very active,love to explore their world,and are dare-devels. They want to experience anything and everything,especially things,we know they can't.Don't make the mistake of labeling him,or holding him back.Allow him to explore,climb,fall,trip.You simply are there to kiss his hurts,and supervise.When he gets impatient,to go exploring,just calmly tell him,that you both have to get ready first.Tell him to go get his ball or truck,and you sneak in to get dressed.Toddlers this age,don't have patience,so you need to teach him how.Get him interested in something,till your ready.I wish you and your active son the best.

Do we have the same child? The determintation your son has about the cupboards is the determination my son has for food. We can't so much as let him see food or he screams. He's not gaining weight (he's getting tall, but dropping off the charts for weight) and was tested for things to do with that, but really...it's no wonder to me he eats so much and gains so little. HE'S ALWAYS MOVING! He is a tricky little guy (also 14 months). My oldest, almost 3 wasn't that much of a mover, but still goes none the less. Every kid is different and I imagine when your son starts communicating better he will throw less tantrums...but he will always have dedication and persistance in his personality, so you'll have to learn to communicate with him. I reccomend you start telling him when he is throwing a tantrum what feeling he is having. "Yes, I know you are angry/frustrated," he'll start to learn his emotions. Good luck....I know the feeling!

As someone who IS ADHD, and who works with kids I would say 2 things:

1) VERY normal toddler behavior.
- a great friend of mine who is a professor of child psychology (doctorate of psychology specializing in children) uses this very non-psychobabble way of splitting infants/young children into two groups; You have "lump babies"...the charmers who are mellow and delightful and content to have the world come to them....and the "explorers"...the ones who take themselves out and about to see the world, climbing the cabinetry and sticking forks into wall sockets and screaming if they aren't allowed to. The first group is the kind beloved of most parents. The second is the kind where parents are pulling out their hair, wondering if it is ever going to stop, and how they are going to keep their child from getting killed. Because common sense and reason is something that young children have to depend on parents for. She says the two groups are roughly even in numbers.

2) ADHD is something that you're going to have to wait several years to even get a hint at. It most commonly presents in an elementary school setting, because that is where the *downsides* start to come in. Until then, ADHD downsides are pretty indistinguishable from normal childhood behavior. <grinning> All toddlers get absorbed in what they are doing and don't listen. All toddlers are discovering their bodies and how they can move them. No toddler, to my knowledge, has yet to demonstrate punctuality & time management WITHOUT parental guidance. In fact, most toddlers who go on to be correctly diagnosed with ADHD, are first labeled "gifted"...because quite frankly...most people with ADHD are quite gifted and some are profoundly gifted. As aspergers tends to come with musical talent, so does ADHD tend to come with intellectual talent. Of course, that's one of the many *upsides* of ADHD. One of the best classical descriptions of ADHD is "the absent minded professor". Driving their parents crazy is a phrase that most toddlers get applied to them. The absent minded professor is usually one that waits until later...like 6-8.

So you're going to have to wait. But in the meantime...remember to breathe.

:) R

I think it sounds like normal behavior and it is too early to tell on ADHD. My daughter is 3 and sometimes acts like that especially if a nap is needed, which she says she doesn't need.

The first thing that comes to my mind is diet. Kids just don't need sugar. There is enough sugar in our foods without slurpee and candy treats. I say that cause my cousin likes to treat her ADHD daughter with a slurpee on her good days. It just makes no sense.

Although he is a little young I want to mention when my daughter was in 2nd grade the teacher chewed me out for her not paying attention and writing sloppy. She showed me where she could write neat and sloppy. It wasn't until that summer that I discovered she had a lazy eye and she did eye therapy. The doctor said when her eye is tired it wanders and then she can't see to read or write, so sloppy papers and goofing off were the result. I would have never put that together, but it worked.

I would just watch him and see if you can tell what is triggering it.

I had to edit because I originally typed on my iphone.

Boys.
I have a boy and a girl. My son... is just SO much more physical and active. Boys, are just more kinesthetic.
And yes, yours sounds spirited.

For any child, really cue into him and "see" what he 'needs' and really tune into him. As you said, he really seems to need to get outdoors. And he is very curious (as most kids are) and he is cerebrally active as well as physical. He seems well developed. That is good!

I know it's then, 'tiring' or not easy for the Mom with a boy like this. My friends who have boys, go through the same thing. :)

For me, what works is I taught my son from a young age: (1) the word "danger." (2) I taught both my kids sign language. Which comes in REAL handy when your child is across the other side of the room and instead of sprinting across to them or 'yelling' to them... you simply say their name then use a sign language cue to "tell" them what is "no, no" or "stop" or other things. It is real handy with an active boy! I do this with my son and it's great. Just by my using certain hand signs for "stop" or "come" or "quiet" I can convey to him something without raising my voice or stopping him in a moments notice if he is scampering away. (3) use your words... and with repetition, he will 'learn' various words and what is appropriate or not.

BUT, through it all, know that at this age and through 3 years old, they do NOT have full impulse control, nor attention spans. So... this is the way it is.

Meanwhile, just make sure your home is safety-proofed. Any bookshelves for example, can fall over and pin your son under it, hurting him or worse. So make extra sure, that with your active boy, you make everything safe!
Boys LOVE to climb... and they climb anything- shelves, jalousie windows, tables, counters, beds, ladders, stools, sofas, anything! And they also like to "jump/dive" off of things too. My son once opened a drawer to my Mom's credenza... and then he used the drawer to climb onto it... and it toppled over! SCARY! Luckily it did not crush him... as this was a VERY VERY heavy credenza and none of us thought it could topple over. But it did. We have since put it away.

And yes, kids ALWAYS want something they can't have. Such is the nature of a baby/toddler. So you need to distract him. If he yells... don't worry, a child WILL de-escalate on their own, even though it is not pleasant to hear. But guide him with your actions and verbally... even if it seems to go on deaf ears. They do catch on, sooner or later. Its all about "repetition." That's how they learn.

ALso keeping in mind their cognitive development PER their age. A 14 month old is just not going to understand wordy rationalizations or explanations. And then sometimes, even if they tantrum/yell because they want something... just repeat calmly "no... " or "not now..." or "stop..." etc. And then wait, and they will still yell/tantrum. But once they know you are not going to rush around to appease them with a "treat" they will stop. But again, they at this age, do NOT have full control of their impulses, much less emotions. So keep that in mind.

But mostly, do not expect him to do, what is "older" than he is. Things have to be age appropriate... including, expectations upon him. Or, both of you will be continuously frustrated. As it is already happening. At 14 months old....a child will NOT act all 'organized' and only keeping to "their" cabinet. Do not expect that, or you will always be disappointed in him. EVEN a Preschooler will NOT always do this either. So try and keep this in perspective, if it helps. Even my 6 year old child does this... and wants other things from elsewhere and not only "HER" drawer. They are kids. They cannot YET manage themselves. That's why we help them. It takes an entire childhood to learn the basics... even Teens too.

Try and join kids groups, Gymboree, play/parent groups etc. Get his yah-yah's out.... kids need this. They go stir crazy too.

Oh, also maybe try and watch what you feed him... go easy on juices (ie: sugar) or other things. For some kids, this just throws them into a tizzy or they get fussy.

All the best,
Susan

D.,

You have a perfectly normal little boy.

I agree with the other posters who said boundaries need to be set up and followed. My son is what you have described as spirited, and starting very early we would explore the house together...go over what is safe and what is not safe. Places like the fireplace and cabinets were off limits...and we used rugs and carpets to show him visually where he could and could not go. I also, have always talked to my son and began using cue type words to show him what's 'safe' and 'dangerous'. Getting down on his level and in a calm voice explaining what we needed to do before we could go out and play.

As for tantrums, I developed a good way to deal with them that helped us. But, you have to find what works for you. I found that speaking softly to my son during his fits, and telling him Mommy will wait until you are calm and then we can talk or cupping my ears and saying I can't hear you when you yell, use your big boy voice.
It's tough, but you have to be firm and consistent.

It's so much easier to give in and just let them be happy but, in the long run it is tougher to get them to work through those times as older kids. But, if you start now he'll begin to understand over time.

Plus, this is the best age for helping him learn to identify his feelings...frustration, anger, sadness and fear are huge at this stage and tantrums usually come from not being able to express or identify these emotions.

With my son we started doing 'toy timeouts' because physical timeout didn't even phase him. So, taking away the toy he's misusing and putting it in a box in the closet works well for us. We set the timer for five minutes and when it goes off he can get his toy back. If the behavior continues we reset the time one more time and then, if it still continues he loses the toy for the rest of the day. We haven't gotten tot he point where he loses the toy ALL day, but it's been effective for us.

My son hardly sits and hardly for meals, so really you just have to work with your son to find methods to help him grasp how the day flows. I think getting him involved in a Mommy and Me class or creating some structure around his day, so he has things he knows are coming. My Mom has been watching my son for me at home for sometime, and she does 'fun time' and 'learning time' during the times my son is with her. She gets my son to set up the supplies and he helps her get the crates out and the table ready. This gives him something to look forward to and he knows that lunch follows 'learning time' and that snack comes before 'fun time' after his nap.

Find a way to help the day flow and give your son cues to help him know what's coming next. It's just a matter of patience and structure, and finding a groove that works for your family.

Make sure you get Dad in on the plan too, so that it's not just You setting down the boundaries.

Good Luck!

It's really too soon to say. Toddlers typically have all of the energy that we need. He's still very young so you are probably not giving him too much junk to eat just yet but, just in case, start paying close attention to the ingredient labels on the foods that you are giving him to eat. All those artificial colors have been known to trigger ADHD symptoms in some (not all) kids who are especially sensative to them. And high fructose corn syrup is just glorified sugar and sugar can trigger hyperactivity in children as well.

Good luck to you and your son.

VERY normal behavior and, unfortunately, at 14-months, setting boundaries and limits will take constant reinforcing, reminding and consistency. Good luck!

he sounds healthy and fine. if hes just as hyper closer to the age of 3 then i would look into getting him propperly tested. i agree with the other post. set up rules and boundaries and stay firm. a toddler knows how to play you to get what they want. youll never correct the behavior if you continue to enable it. i have a 23 month old who can be down right defiant at times. but my rules 99% of the time stand firm. if she acts up at home she has to goto her bed and sit. if we are out and about i separate her and make her sit. every so often she gets a swat on the butt. good luck.

He a total boy! My son is the same way. Boys are non-stop, when they are napping, they're not sleeping, they're just recharging their batteries!! With my son, we just do a lot of playing outside so he can burn off some of his energy. Your son sounds totally normal. Don't worry and enjoy your little energizer bunny! I wish i had just half of their energy.