5 Year Old Who Doesnt Play with Her Barbie's Anymore

Updated on March 04, 2009
R.H. asks from Redding, CA
17 answers

Hello moms, my daughter is 5 years old and lately she doesnt want to play with any of her barbies or baby dolls. She is a little mature for her age but I am feeling a little sad that she says she doesnt like them anymore. My question is has anyone else had this experience with their young daughters. I played with dolls until almost 10 years old. Is this normal?
Thanks,
R.

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Put them aside a while, as her interests change and grow she probably needs other toys and distractions. I bet if she sees them 6-12 months from now she'll be interested as again they'll be something "new".

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My girls stopped playing with Barbies very early on. But they played with baby dolls longer. They are 8 and 9 now and still play with their American Girl dolls occasionally.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Why not just put them away for a while? She may decide to play with them again in a few months. If she doesn't, they still may be something to keep and give back to her for her own little girls when she's grown up. Our grandchildren enjoy playing with some of their parents' toys that I saved over the years.

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R.M.

answers from Fresno on

I like your other responses. Put them away for a while, and when you get them out again, she may have an interest. maybe she's just tired of them.
OR, maybe, like myself, and some others here, she's just not interested in dolls.
I grew up with an older brother, so maybe that was the contributing factor, but I always preferred boy-toys over dolls, such as Hot Wheels cars, G.I. Joe figures, Star Wars figures, etc... BUT, I interweaved them with my care bear figures. :)
try letting her pick out a toy at the store and see what she thinks she is interested in right now. it'll probably change in time, whatever it is.
don't worry. :)

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

I would box them up or put them in tubs or whatever you do with your stuff, and put them away for a while....I bet she gets interested again, she is probably just bored with the same thing. If you remove them for a while, she will probably want them back when she gets tired of playing with whatever she is playing with now! If not, she just may be interested in other things, especially with having an older brother, she may like to play with cars or whatever. I always tried to build rockets and such with my brother, he never wanted to play with dolls or barbies so that may be part of it too....Good Luck!

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Is it normal??? You ought to be celebrating! Your daughter may be just too creative and curious and filled with the joy of living to get any fun out of those horrid plastic things. Don't force her into the tired old stereotypes. Maybe she doesn't want to wear pink, paint her face, and think about clothes and boys and babies all the time. Maybe she wants to be a brain surgeon or an artist or an astrophysicist! Give the child some food for her brain!

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I never ever played with Barbies as a kid. I had stuffed animals, but I didn't play house with them, etc. I liked riding my bike and playing sports. I didn't get the point of Barbies -- still don't. I promise you that I have not suffered in the slightest from not playing with Barbies. I also hated dresses as a kid. However, I make a pretty reasonable wife and mom (I hope!), have many wonderful friends, some of whom I have been friends with since the 4th grade, and adore fashion. The hip 13 year-old who lives across the street wants me to go shopping with her to get a dress for her spring formal. I also have deep, loving, supportive relationships with family and friends. What do you think that your daughter not playing with dolls anymore means? What is scaring you? Please remember that your daughter will certainly share some of your characteristics, but she is not an extention of you. I think it is easy to be worried when your child does something differently than you did, but there is no reason to worry. Everyone is different, and as I'm sure you're learning in your master's program, there is no such thing as "normal." My cousin's wife is so not into stereotypically girly things -- never was, yet she has one of the girliest daughters around. Both are perfectly "normal," so to speak. There is a huge range of what one should consider "normal." There is no one way of being.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Whatever she does is normal. However, it is sad when they stop doing things like that. It killed me when my oldest threw out all his old toys when he was 12. Overnight, he stopped being a little boy.

That said, at 5 you still have many years of her being a little girl. You can count on it until at least 10. She'll probably pick up some other toy.

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Not all girls like dolls but it doesn't stop them from being any more a girl than any other girl. When I was young I hated dolls (especially Barbies) and my mom who (like you) was really into them kept trying to get me to play with them, which, ultimately, was stressful in itself. So, when my daughters came along, I leaned over backward to make sure that my dislike for dolls didn't interfere with their enjoyment of them. I gave them a couple of dolls, they got some from relatives, I made sure to take them down the doll aisles in toy stores ... net result, one never liked dolls, while the other one liked them for a short bit but was definitely done with Barbies by the time she was 5 (like your daughter). Interestingly, they both wanted an American Girl doll when they were a little older, specifically one that looked like them, and they were very pleased to get them, but they still don't really play with them. In our house animals definitely rule, both stuffed and plastic toys like Schleich (not to mention Littlest Pet Shop ...). So, don't worry about it, everyone's different. But I do agree that you might want to put them away but keep them a short while just in case her interest returns.

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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

be happy she's not interested in barbies at age 5. they're creepy.

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J.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R. (pretty name by the way!)

I understand your concerns. My first daughter, who is now 9, has always been more mature than her actual age. She has never shown interest in dolls or Barbies. (I think I played secretly with mine until I was about 12!) At about 8, after several Christmases of asking for My Little Pet Shop or other toys that she never actually played with, she realized that she doesn't like playing with toys or playing much at all. She is quite an intellectual type and at that age would prefer to read or do something interesting like start up a Sea Monkey tank and figure that all out or learn Chinese jump-roap games or something like that. If the right child was over, usually a boy who I used to take care of, she would get into some fantasy game where they'd make up all kinds of strange situations and get really into it. Otherwise, she just wouldn't play much. I'd have friends over for her and they had such a hard time finding things to do together because my daughter was just not your typical kid. I was worried and sad too. She is now a very different child who is obsessed with reading and has lots of other interests but skipped the playing phase almost all together. She knows who she is and we make jokes about how she is different and she has a very positive self image. She's a little more social now in fifth grade but for years she didn't show much interest in other kids or what they were doing. I believe she was just more advanced than they were and they annoyed her with their childish ways.

My next daughter comes along and loves babies and dolls and playing anything. She will dress them up for hours and loves having friends over to play. She actually acts quite young for her age and she knows that about herself and feels good about it. (She still loves Dora and Winnie the Pooh in second grade and doesn't care that it's babyish).


So, my point in telling you all that, is I can relate to your concerns! Maybe you can really try to figure out what she does like to do and encourage that and, a little sadly I admit, give up on trying to get her to play with things most other kids like. I think the most important thing is helping her discover her own preferences and needs and for her to know that being different may be a little harder sometimes, but its perfectly okay.

I found as a parent I was always trying to explain why my daughter didn't want to play with the neighborhood girl or a girl who would seek her out as a friend at school. I had to have a sense of humor about it.

Good luck. Everyone is different. Some are just more towards one extreme side of the scale. It's all okay. Hang in there!

JJY

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A.W.

answers from Stockton on

Hi R.!

My niece was about 5 when she outgrew her barbies.... which was very sad for us aunties who had gone a little overboard on the barbie collection.

Her mother gave all of the barbies away to other children who wanted them. My niece became very tom boyish and athletic. She wanted roller blades and soccer balls.

Now my niece is 9, and she just spent her allowance at the thrift store on baby dolls and their accessories. She's asking for barbie for her birthday.

It's up to you to decide if you want to put them away or hang on to them for later.... there's almost always a "later." I remember in high school my best friend wanted a My Buddy doll and she carried it around everywhere for awhile, while another friend asked for winnie the pooh toys. Maturity is not a linear growth like some people want to believe. It has it's peaks and valleys.

Love your daughter and encourage her to explore all of her interests, whether they be barbie dolls or soccer balls! Knowing that you support her and trust her to explore her interests will be what makes the difference.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

My girls stopped with barbies around 5ish too. They then moved on to Littlest Pet Shop. They played with these little guys for 4 years just about every day. Then they outgrew those last year and moved onto webkinz. I'm actually still sad they don't like the Pet Shop toys anymore. They sold their whole collection on ebay for $400 so that they could get some webkinz and save the extra $$. I too remember playing with barbies until I was older. I actually now prefer my girls to play with "animal" toys instead of dolls, have you seen barbie naked? gross.

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A.N.

answers from San Francisco on

let her play with what she wants,you are different people with different interests.let her be herself.

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J.F.

answers from San Francisco on

She'll probably come back to them at some point. We all evolve, grow, and change as we go through our lives...this is something she's growing through. Things fit for awhile, then we find they don't fit. So take your cue from your daughter, and support her in playing with what SHE is interested in and just let it be. Honor who she is.

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S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Neither I nor my daughter have been interested in playing with dolls. My mom kept trying to give my daughter baby dolls or dress-up dolls (she was too much of a feminist to try to give her an actual Barbie!) but my daughter is only interested in playing with her stuffed animals. However the stuffies are all her "children" and she puts them in strollers and tells elaborate stories about them.

Like the previous responder said, pretty much anything your daughter does is "normal", as long as she is indeed playing!

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

R.,
What I have learned about doll play is that today the dolls are too "beautiful" and have distinct features or come with built in scenarios and story lines that doesn't allow for a child to imagine themselves into the doll or allow the dolls to act out other rolls or stories. Can a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Barbie become a fireman? The dolls today do not lend themselves to creative play and kids can get over them sooner. Try getting a new doll (like the Waldorf dolls) that have minimal features. Your child can make them 'be' anything!

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