5 Year Old Daughter Still Wetting the Bed

Updated on October 21, 2008
R.H. asks from Redding, CA
31 answers

Hello everyone, I have a 5 year old daughter who is still wetting the bed at night, I have tried everything from a sticker chart to limiting water before bed, I have reached my end and dont know what else to do. Any advice would be great, Thanks.

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D.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My son did this until he was about 7. His dr said that his bladder just hadn't caught up with the rest of him yet. I didnt want to do meds or anything so I would wake him once in the middle of the night and usually he wouldnt have an accident. If he did, then we would just quickly change him and go back to bed without making a fuss. They cant control it.

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L.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter was a bet wetter. The Dr. told us that sometimes it is just genetic and there is nothing to do but wait it out. He also told us that it is more common with boys whose fathers side of the family had bed wetters and that with girls, there was a bed wetter on both sides of the family (one of my brothers). That was the case with us. She didn't completely stop until 11yo. Getting her to the bathroom before I went to bed seemed to help a lot. Having her help change the bed will help you feel less frustrated too.

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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Thanks for asking this question. I have the same problem and will be anxiously awaiting the answers you get.
Stac

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I would get a doctor's/second opinion on this matter. Or even a third opinion. A friend of mine has a six year old daughter with a wetting problem. It turned out not to be a bladder problem, but a problem with the hormone triggers in her brain regarding the let down of urine.

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Y.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I was a late bed-wetter as a child. My mother told me I was a really heavy sleeper and what worked for us was waking me once in the middle of the night to sit on the toilet. She said growth spurt times were worse because I slept so hard I was almost comatose! I hope this helps. I've also had friends tell me that it could run in families. My father was a late bed wetter too.

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K.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried going in and waking her up at night to get her to go to the bathroom? It's great to limit water before bed, but it seems like maybe she doesn't have the impulse to get up and go in the middle of the night. You might want to start by waking her up a couple of times (every few hours), and having her use the toilet. Then see if you can cut back to just one time a night. Hopefully she will develop the impulse, then, to get out of bed and go to the bathroom so that you can get to where you stop waking her and she is able to do it on her own. Good luck!

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D.D.

answers from Fresno on

I have a friend whose 6 year old boy still wets the bed. If you have not yet asked your pediatrician about it you may want to. Her little boy was prescribed something to help regulate his urinary patterns. Your daughter may be able to use something like that as well.

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Y.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.:

My brother wet the bed until he was age 11. The turning point was when someone told her aboout milk and oranage juice sensativity. She removed it from his diet and the issue was gone. My brother is now 40 and can consumme dairy without issue as well as orange juice as far as I know.

As a holistic health practioner/nutritionist, I find that there is a growing population of people that are lactose intolerant or allergic to milk and not all symptoms are the same for all people.

Dairy, oranage juice, wheat/gluten, eggs, and nuts are the most reactive food groups for people. A childs immune system is being introduced to a host of elements and eating the same thing over and over can stress out the body. If she is having a reaction, it may just be temporay. You'll have to be the reseracher on this and make close observation of her moods, motor skills, cognative responses as well to see if there is anything beyond the bladder that is also being affected.

Don't worry about the dairy/calcium issue. I'ts really a lot of hype. She can get enough calcium or more from other foods. We aren't baby cows anyway. I's really not a nautural food for humans.

Good luck
Y.

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M.K.

answers from Chico on

I wet my bed until I was 6.... I grew out of it, and your daughter will, too. If she is like me, it isn't an issue of defiance or laziness. Ask her dr. just in case, but she probably just isn't big enough yet. Encourage her to pee before bed and help her change the sheets without making a big deal. If you notice that she always wets at the same time, you might have a wake and pee routine just before that regular time. Good luck!

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C.P.

answers from Sacramento on

Some kids take longer than others.

We had my daughter in pull-ups until she was about six. Once we stopped using them, she refused to go back. Get a plastic pad/waterproof mattress pad, and be ready for some extra washing if you plan on going this route. My daughter is almost seven and only had one or two accidents at night in the last two months. She has figured out how to get herself up in the middle of the night as well. We have the advantage of her having a bathroom right off of her room (not having to go down a dark hall or anything). I think a sticker chart will encourage at that age, and limiting night time water (from dinner time to bedtime), will help, but I think you have to do the pullups or be prepared to do some extra washing. She will get it.

I personally had problems. I ended up having to take medicine three times a day from 2nd or 3rd grade through 6th. I was having problems during the day as well, though. I didn't want my daughter to have to got that route (I can still tasted it now and I am 38) so I learned some patience.

Just be patient and she will get it.

Lot of luck and love.

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N.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My son was in Pull-ups until about 6. I asked his pediatrician about it. He said there's nothing you can do about it. It's their body. His body wasn't ready yet to hold it in. It made sense. I asked about waking him up and he said all that accomplishes is interrupting his sleep. You can't train them for nighttime - their body just has to be ready. He of course suggested no water before bed and going potty right before he goes to sleep.

Needless to say, his comments made me feel better. I've always down-played it to my son; just repeating that his body's not ready, and that's okay. He seemed to accept that.

Now he's almost 8 and has accidents about once a month. But he's a great sleeper and never feels ashamed. I just have a small waterproof pad under his sheet, that way it doesn't get to the mattress pad.

She'll outgrow it - don't worry!

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J.L.

answers from Fresno on

My 7 year old son is a bed wetter still. For several months I watched his sleep pattern and would check to see when he would wet the bed. We also tried the Bed Wetting Alarm. He seems to pee around 11:00 - 11:30. So, now I get him up at 10:45 EVERY NIGHT and have him sit on the toilet and he pees. Then, he can go the rest of the night dry.

It took a while to figure this out. The alarm made him aware that we was wet, but it did not wake him up before he totally soaked the bed. He's a very heavy sleeper.

Have spoken to his Dr. many times over the last couple of years and he said he'll grow out of it. We ruled out any physical problems or emotional problems. Some kids just sleep heavy and haven't developed the bladder muscles to hold it, or sense when they need to pee during the night.

Getting my son up during his sleep time (notice I said "Getting" up, NOT "Waking" up) doesn't seem to hurt him. He's fully rested and happy in the morning and ready for school.

Be patient (I know, sometimes it's tiring doing all that laundry!), but it will pass.

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D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Our daughter was still wetting the bed at 7yo. We finally tried one of the bed wetting products - underwear with the sensor and alarm - and it worked. The first few nights I had her sleep in a sleeping bag in our room. The alarm woke me up, and then I woke her up and escorted her to the bathroom. It didn't take long though for the alarm to wake her up and she took care of it herself. After two weeks or so she no longer needed the alarm. She never wet her bed again. (She is 10yo now.)

Good luck!
-D.

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N.B.

answers from San Francisco on

liquids must be limited like 3 hours before bed.

Also, what works for us is waking him up at midnight (or whenever their 1st sleep cycle is over...usually when they start stirring) and take them to the potty. Even if I gotta carry him and help him go potty this late at night, it is worth it

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M.A.

answers from San Francisco on

You had a lot of responses to this, and i am late in my response, but I decided to write anyways. My daughter only stopped peeing in her bed at night this year. She was 6 when she stopped. Both her dad and I also wet the bed until we were about 5 or 6, so genetics was working against her. One thing that really helped us control the issue was:
1. Having her go to the bathroom right before bed.
2. Waking her up to go to the bathroom between 10pm - 11pm every night.

Whenever my daughter had an accident, most of the time it was before midnight. That did not change regardless of how we tried to regulate liquids. She is such a heavy sleeper she could not wake up to go. We often found her sound asleep while laying wet in her sheets. So she wore pull-ups at night, and we just lether do whatever. For a while, when she was 5, we tried for a while to let her have accidents and kept putting her in underwear, but after a while we got tired of changing the sheets. She couldn't make it all night, so we went back to pull-ups. Then after a few months we started taking her to the bathroom every night before we went to sleep (around 11pm). We started noticing dry pull-ups in the morning. We stuck with that routine for about a year. In the last couple of months we went back to underwear. If we forgot to take her potty before 11pm, there was usualy an accident, but if we remembered her bed stayed dry. Then finally, we noticed that if we forgot, it was ok. She either was waking up to go, or holding it all night. So after a while we stopped taking her, and she has been dry ever since.

We personally believe that it was her maturing and developing, as well as a very well established routine of night time potty that got things right.
Good luck to you!

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R.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I wet the bed up until I was 5 or 6, maybe even 7. My parents took an extreme measure since they couldn't figure out how to break me of it. they bought this pad that went under my sheet, and when it would sense wetness, an alarm would go off, which would of course startle me awake, and wake my parents. they would come in, change me and my sheets, and if I still had to go, take me to the bathroom. I believe I was broken of bed wetting in a matter of a week or two.

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S.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello R.,

I have 4 children and 2 of them were bed wetters. Most of the time these children sleep very soundly and do not wake up when they have the urge to go to the bathroom. I never made an issue out of it. I know it can be very frustrating but they will eventually outgrow it. Hang in there. (My kids are now parents and have their children who do the same.)

S. M

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S.E.

answers from San Francisco on

Some children do not know they have to go. They are sound sleepers. Until that sensation appears or she develops the ability to hold her bladder, continue what you are doing and buy Pull-ups, Underjams, etc.

My duaghter is 7 and still can't make it through most nights during the week. The doc. said she is fine. No need to worry, just be patient. I was a late one too, so it could be genetic.

We limit liquids and make sure she goes to the bathroom just before hopping under the covers (the very last task before story). She's up to about 5 nights a week. I see when she has most of her liquids late in the day (not a drinker by nature....we have had to push fluids since very young), she will be wet.

We've adopted the Wet Pull-up=Shower in the Morning plan.

Relax and just help her deal with it.
Stephanie

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,

I would have her seen by her pediatrician to rule out any physical issues for the peace of mind factor. Then there are a couple things you could try. First I would use the Good Nights sleep underwear. They're a bigger version of a pull up, and are made for bed wetters. They're made to look and be thin like underwear. This will help you to not have to change a wet bed some much while your getting through this hard time! The second thing you can do is wake her up before you are ready to go to sleep, and make her go potty. Especially if she's a heavy sleeper. You can also set an alarm clock too, and then take her to the potty. This has worked with my two older sons, and they both stopped wetting by the time they were 5 1/2. It does take consistency though, because this is what helps train her brain into waking up to use the bathroom. I hope this helps!

A little about me:

I am a happily married stay at home mama to 4 incredible little boys ages 9,6, and twins that are 4. We are a Christian family, and a home schooling family. Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to us, and we're grateful for all he is in our lives!

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T.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Keep her in pull ups at night until she is consistently dry in the morning. Her bladder has not yet matured or she is a very deep sleeper. My now 11 yo daughter used pull ups until she was 6-7, and then had occasional accidents until age 8 (get a rubber sheet for her bed). Be patient not shaming or punitive. She'll outgrow it. Did you or your husband wet the bed as kids? It runs in families.

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M.C.

answers from Stockton on

Hi
I have a 5 yrs old boy and going on 4 yrs old girl. They wet the bed occasionally and my husband and I will wake them up at 12:00am and at 4:00am. If we don't do that, they will wet the bed. A little sacrifice on our part.

M.

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C.M.

answers from Chico on

Most children who don't wet the bed at night have the ability to hold it all night or else they get up and use the bathroom. So it makes sense that a child who is unable to hold it all night MUST be potty trained for nighttime. Following are instructions on what worked with my oldest when he was about this age...he was a heavy sleeper:

At bedtime, have her lay down in the dark with all bathroom and hallway lights off just as if it is the middle of the night. Ask her to pretend to be asleep and then think about how she feels when she needs to go during the day and pretend she is having that feeling while she is still pretending to sleep. Ask her what she does when she feels the urge during the day and have her practice "waking up", going into the bathroom, pulling her pants/panties down, sitting on the potty, pretending to go and then dressing, flushing and getting back to bed. Have her do this visualization and practice routine 5-6 times in the evening at bedtime. Within a week or two she will probably be getting up in the middle of the night to go and most likely will not even recall doing it. My son, now 13 still "sleepwalks" to the bathroom to use the toilet in the middle of the night. I read about and tried this technique right before we tried the sheet alarm or putting him back in diapers...no pull ups at the time.

Good luck!

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

Hi - I have had the same problem with my six year old daughter - I had spoken with my dr. about it previously and he told me that it is because she is sleeping to hard and her body doesn't wake her up to tell her that she has to go to the bathroom and that she would probably grow out of it by the time that she was 6 - but that didn't happen - so I recently started waking her up at about 11:30 or 12:00 (I am pregnant and have to get up and go to the bathroom anyways) so I wake her up to go to. This has helped a ton! I also limited fluids, and tried giving her milk instead of water as I heard that more of that gets absorbed into her body?....don't know if that is true or not....anyways - that has seemed to help, and I think that once I get her in a routine of waking up, then she will wake up on her own. I have only been doing it for a few days now, but they have been dry days! I also tried not letting her wear the pull ups anymore thinking that being wet would wake her up - but that only made more laundry for me to do .....ugghhhh!!! This seems to be the best idea for us. Maybe it will work for you to. Good Luck!

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,

An acupuncturist/herbalist trained in pediatrics will be able to help you with this. She/he can teach you gentle and fun massage techniques to do with your child. Also, simple Chinese herbs could be very useful , and possibly some acupuncture. A pediatric acupuncture practitioner will use very this needles and a quick in and out insertion. Personally, I've never had a child cry or be upset with the needles. They have a good time being treated.

Best,
J. G.
Mom and Licensed Acupuncturist/Herbalist SF

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B.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi there R.,

Some children really do mature in this area at a much slower rate. My Roxy was 6 before she could consistently sleep through the night without an accident. She just seemed to sleep too deeply to wake up to go to the bathroom. We tried everything and none of it worked. I finally decided to trust her body and rest assured that it would work out. One night we were out of pull-ups and she said she wanted to try and barring 2 or 3 accidents we haven't looked back in a year. Just stock up on pull-ups, keep talking to her about it in a non-threatening way and let her know that it will all be o.k. and eventually her body will be ready to do this. That's my advice.
Best of luck, B.

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K.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Go to the web site, Nobedwetting.com. Their phone number is ###-###-####. They will talk to you and explain their program and why some kids have this problem. My grandson had this problem as did two of his younger siblinsgs. It tends to be genetic. It is not cheap but it works. She may be too young to really get involved yet, because some kids grow out of it. Good Luck.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Our son was doing the same thing and we asked the doctor about it. He said some kids just master this later than others and not to worry. We tried moving him to underwear, but it was very traumatic for him to wake up in the morning in a pool of pee. He was just such a sound sleeper he wasn't able to wake in time. We just continued back with Overnights. Suddenly one night he stayed dry. Gave it a few more nights and that was it ... he was able to stay dry so we switched to underwear. He has accidents now and then, but overall, he's night trained now at 5 1/2.

Hang in there. I know there's a lot of pressure to get this mastered, but try to make it a low-pressure situation. Your child will eventually stay dry at night, when her body is capable of it.

M.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Take her to the doctor to be sure there's no physical reason. You didn't say if this was just at night or also during the day; I'm assuming just at night. Also, I discovered that emotional problems can manifest themselves in bedwetting. If there are no physical or emotional issues, put a pull-up on her at night and wait it out. there's really not anything more you can do.

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J.E.

answers from San Francisco on

My 9 yr old son wet the bed until just a few months ago. The doctor said there's not much to do about it, they outgrow it eventually and sure enough... I suggest www.goodnights.com It is a website by Huggies and has lots of ideas and support for parents and kids. Also, you can print coupons for goodnights sleep pull-ups, subscribe to their newsletter etc.
Good luck and try not to make a big deal about it. This too shall pass. :)

G.P.

answers from Modesto on

R.,
It could be a number of things that's causing her to do it. Some kids do it to get attention, or they can't control the bladder. My oldest son did this for a long time because he's an emotional boy. Changes in the house, or problems at school has her upset to be doing this. There is a new overnight thing I see advertised on tv for kids that have that problem.
Good luck with your daughter. G.

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

Get a large waterproof pad and when she wets she can stay wet. She wiill eventually get tired of it. You should also show her how to hand wash her clothes and have her do it when she wets

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