3 Yr Old Who Is Fighting Going to Bed, Even Tho Her Eyes Are Dark W/ Circles

She is testing you BIG TIME!!! Think of HER personality and what ever would not work for her, throw it out... :-)

If you know that she does not have to go potty make her stick to the law of the bedtime... :-) You would let her sit on the potty for 45 min TRYING? lol I am assuming that you are the "softie" parent. I am too... But I learned along time ago (we have 3 with one on the way) that rules are rules. When we say bed... That is it. In the bed, lights out. No night lights, and IF they do get up to go potty then it is a no communication in and out trip. (unless they are sick)

She understands alot more than we think. Sit her down. You AND daddy. Tell her the rules. The rules stay the same for daddy and mommy bed times. Don't worry about punishment stickers (are they really working? )

Take the toys out of her room and make it as dark as possible. (Hard to play in the dark.) Also, make sure you are winding her down for about an hour BEFORE bed. Turn down the noise (radios, tv, etc.) concentraite on books and stories. Then get in gear with the usual routine (teeth,potty, jammies, bed...). Do not use her room as a punishment place. (until she's in her teens.)

Its not about "locking" her in. Its about sticking to boundries. Mommy says NO... THat means NO. Be stern and do not compromise. Make sure she takes sips of water BEFORE going to the bed room. If she says she is hungry, she should have eaten more for dinner. (Yes, it sounds mean... she's 3... But she's also playing you and will come up with anything.) Give her ONE stuffed animal or blankie BEFORE turning off the light.
Then kisses and walk out. Shut the door. And wait. Put a chair so you can see the door and get a book. Sit there and if she opens it, tell her to go to bed. But you do not go in the room. Just watch her climb in bed and shut the door. :-) Might take a bit... And if it starts to wear on you, def. go outside if you need to.

Good luck and hope you find some mixture of something that will work for her and you.

Our son tried that when he turned 3, actually he tried about everything he could get away with when he turned 3.... I don't know if this will work for your daughter but our son is extremely attached to his toys and his security blanket Woofie, also he likes sleeping with the door open. So, I came up with a strategy that works for us- he can choose 1 "toy" and woofie to take to bed and we will leave the door open. If he goes to bed like he is supposed to and only gets up to go to the bathroom if he actually has to go then he gets to keep all of his privileges- but if he acts up they get taken away one by one, but can earn back if quietly stays in bed.... you get the idea. Good luck, they sure can be stubborn:)

Ok here goes - you are not going to like this. You have answered your own question in your question. What do you mean it "doesn't work for you" yet it works for her father. Do what he is doing & STICK TO IT.
We, meaning my husband has the same issues with our oldest who is now almost 6. For me she goes to bed stays in bed & falls asleep. For my husband our daughter going to bed -what a laugh - staying in bed that is a bigger joke - going to sleep well, that takes about 3 hours. Now - when he is home I say who is putting her to bed if he says he will I make him stick to it & I DO NOT INTERFEAR - he will eventually listen to me if not, that is his problem & has to run himself ragged all night. She uses the same excuses. Have to go potty - get a drink - soar throat anything that will have her dad's attention & have him running.
My times: brush teeth put on jammies go potty then reading to her. Lots of hugs & kisses & I make sure I tell her what I expect from her - stay in bed go to sleep & that sort of thing. When she gets up I just take her back to bed without saying a word no going potty again or anything. It works, you just have to stick to it.
It won't be easy at first - but it will work.
Good luck

Hi C.,

You've got some good advice here but I would like to suggest something a little different. My boys have an awful time falling asleep and it's because their bodies don't produce enough Melatonin when it's time to go to bed. You might want to try finding a Melatonin suppliment with B-6 to give her about 1/2 hour before bed. It promotes sleep naturally. My boys are on 3mg and it does wonders. You can always cut the tablets in half to give her only 1.5 mg to start and see if that works for her. Once she is back on a set schedule you can try taking her off of it or weaning her until she doesn't need it anymore. I tell ya, it's a lifesaver for my household. My boys would be up all night if I let them. You can be sure Melatonin is safe, it's a natural bi-product of the body. The B-6 metabolizes it better than without giving you a stronger/quicker result. Without it my youngest will stay up playing in his bed for as long as 3-4 hours, with it he is asleep within 5 minutes of putting his head down and laying still.

Another suggestion if you don't want to try that, when you put her down tell her that she needs to lay quiet and still for 15 minutes, if she's still awake she can get up for 5-10 min. then has to lay down again for another 15 min., try this for a few nights and if she's successful streach the time to 20 min. for a few nights, then 25, etc. until she can get back into her routine. If she doesn't lay quietly her time starts over. The key is to keep her calm and quiet. If she works herself up then shes getting her adrenaline going and that's going to keep her awake.

I hope this helps a bit - Good luck!

S.

PS. I spent my teen age years in Auburn Hills over 20 years ago. Great place to grow up! :o)

Chewable melatonin is definitely worth a try. Kids, though, can get dependent on it if taken too long, your body will stop producing it itself so limit it to about 1month. Wow, what a crazy schedule you had in China. My friend just got back from there - she was with her family - 3 young girls, for 3 years. What a trip! She's very adaptable but is having an interesting time adjusting. Perhaps your daughter is just having a hard time adjusting. Interesting that your hubbie can get her to sleep. Look at that more. What about him makes her "listen" to him more?? (I experience the same thing with my kids) Good luck!

relax. why create a war over this? I think locking a child in a room is a sure fire method to create claustrophobia, amoung other things. You aren't addressing her fears, u r creating more. Is she getting anything with caffiene in it? she is afraid to be by herself when she falls asleep, so i suggest u find a video or tape and read her stories until she sleeps......

Melatonin works great and is a vitamin, so try that along with getting some balls. She is so manipulating you, NO means no and be consistent, and I mean consistent, not just when your mad but even when you don't really want to do it. If she gets out of bed take her back to bed, do not talk to her, to not respond to anything and put her back to bed. It will be hell at first but once she realizes you won't be a push over she will be over it. Might help with her attitude problems too. If it will you feel better, make a list and post by her door, list every excuse she has given, make her check off the list each night so she has no excuses and you are assured that their is no reason your not covering. Locking door is not safe due to fires, not recommended.

Melatonin can be made from magnesium and a amino acid called methionine which is in meat and egg whites. have her have some egg whites before she goes to sleep. extra B's help to calm down the nervous system . Be careful with too much B6 it can cause neurological problems.
On another note she may have picked up worms the dark circles are a sign. Dr. Natura products(paranel and probiotics) for kids are great.I've dewormed both my kids, its gross but it often a kid thing.
A study was done that showed 22% of adults have pin worms that were not addressed as kids they have colitis etc..
Good luck.