2 And 1/2 Year Old Throwing Tantrums Anytime We Need to Leave...

Hi J.,
I wish I could tell you a fix all for this problem. I had the same problem with my daughter when my son was born, partly because she had such ill feeling towards him for being born. My only suggestion that ended up working for me was I would pick up my daughter, give her a big hug and tell her that I loved her and walked to the car. I did't show any emotion to her except for telling her I was sorry she was mad and that sometimes it is hard being the older sisiter but that she was doing a good job. About two weeks of doing the same thing and saying the same thing it passed. I came to realize that it wasn't her wanting to misbehave but more of an attention effort. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
A.

I have a 2 1/2 year that does the exact same thing. As soon as he starts to throw a fit, I just get on the floor with him and calmly explain to him that if this is the way he is going to act when we are leaving, we are not going to come back to this place/activity again. If we are at a park, I tell him he needs to be calm because if he can't calm down, then we won't get to come back to the park to play any more. It some times take a minute or two to fully explain the consequences of what will happen if he can't be calm when we need to leave, but I haven't had a situation yet, where we have had to leave while he is still throwing a tantrum. Good luck. I know it can be very upsetting at the time it happens.

You can try naming her feelings for her. Like, "I know that you get upset when we leave" or "I can see you don't like change". But it takes a lot of time for that to work. It will pass, believe me.
C.

I have a 3 year old son who is on the Autism Spectrum. Children with Autism have the toughest time with transitioning from one activity to the next. At his school they use transition objects. You may want to try this for your typically developing daughter. If it can work with children with Autism, I don't see why it wouldn't work with typical kids. To use a transition object you give the child the object, it can be anything you choose, but it should be related somewhat to the activity you are transitioning to. For example, when it is time to go outside to play at school the child is given a shovel, each child has their own color for ALL the transition objects. My son's color is yellow, so he would get a yellow shovel. When it is time to go to the table for table time, he gets a yellow cup, a yellow ball for floor time, yellow toy car for time to go home, a diaper with his name in yellow on it for potty/diaper time...etc... The important thing is that you give the same object each time for each transition, and the object must be carried by the child to point A to point B. This means you using hand over hand assistance to help the child hold and complete the task in the beginning, and then phase that out so that the child can carry the transition object independently. Let me give you an example. It is time for you to pack up and leave to go to the car. Make sure that you are ready to go once you give her the object. Once she has the object there is no turning back to get something else it is now time to move from point A to point B. Give her the transition object, make her walk holding the object from point A to point B, use hand over hand assistance if needed. If she drops it make her pick it up and complete the task. Ignore any tantrums or bad behavior, do not give any verbal interaction if she is tantruming. If she is cooperating then give a lot of verbal praise. "Good walking, I like the way you are walking to the car!" Then once she arrives to point B, she gives you the transition object. You must always use the same object for the exact same destination. Never use a toy car for the outside time, or a shovel to go to the car. The point of all this is to teach the child what is going to happen next by using a visual cue, rather than only using spoken words. Something tangible for them to see and feel. Allowing the child to understand what is going to happen next and keeping things on a routine gives them independence in feeling that they know what is going to happen next once they see the object. Once they complete the task a lot of love, praise, and even a treat would be deserving! Good luck!

Why are you explaining yourself?! You are the parent. You tell your child when its time to leave.
1. Give her a 10 to 5 min warning
2. When its time, tell her so.

If she starts to fuss...
1. Come down to her eye level, in a low authoritative voice explain its time to leave.
2. Then take her by the arm and lead her to the car (kicking and screaming if you have to.)
3. DO NOT bribe her, or try to trick her, or whatever. She fusses because you have set a precedence that fussing is okay. In fact, by bribing her, you are telling her the more she fusses the more she gets.
4. If embarrassment is why you don't want her to fuss, remember anyone that has had a 3 year old will only judge you harshly if you let your child continue the behavior. If they see you standing up to her they will give you and smile and a head nod as if to say, "been there, stick w/ it."

J. - the first piece of advice that comes to my mind is never "blame" yourself for anything! Just state the facts maam! YOU are the boss in the family - countdown is good - but the "reason" is - "it's time to go". No other explaination is necessary - If at any point she thinks she has the pants in the family - she will run with it! You can give kids choices, but never the ability to run the family. She is definitely exerting her will here, and will continue as long as she thinks she can get away with it - or get rewards. Do you ever give in? Are the bribes continuing? see where I'm going with this? EVENTUALLY - the tantrums will end - with some discipline, consistency, and being the boss in the family. I see this in the hospital ALL THE TIME! I'm a pediatric nurse in the hospital for 12 years, and a mother to one. Good luck!

Hi there!
Both of my boys used to do throw tantrums when they wanted me to buy them a toy. The one that always worked for me was after the regular warnings, of course, I would just walk away. They finally got the message and stopped doing it. When you walk away, try and turn a corner so that they can't see you, just to make them know that you are serious. Go ahead and peep without them seeing you. And if worst comes to worst, and they were being really stuborn or I had had enough, I would just pick them up and go. I know it seems harsh, but you aren't really leaving them you are just making a point. They really don't like it when mommy walks away. Good luck.

This sounds like a transition issue. I deal with this with my son. My belief, and from what others have explained to me, is that the child is comfortable doing what they are doing, and don't want to change. Consistency and straight forward expectations are key. If you know how long you will be at a place or activity, state that in advance. Then do as you have tried with time to leave warnings (but only give a couple, like 10 and 5... does not have to be a complete count down). My son will often express that the hour only felt like 5 minutes (and is mad), but I have to state that sometimes time goes by much faster than expected. If you are doing something that your daughter wants to do in the future, you can hold that as reason to leave with good behavior. If they throw tantrum, they will not be welcome to come back. Then next time they are invited, you must stick to that rule, and state to her that if she leaves well, then she can return. If she leaves badly, then she will not be able to come next time. At that next time, tell her "no" (she cannot go) since she behaved badly at the leaving time... then the following offer give another chance, reminding her that when she leaves nicely, friends will want to play again...
Also, don't over explain to the child. Don't try to reason with her in the moment, because she really won't be hearing you. Just extract her from the situation and leave (screaming and all)... then when she calms down explain that it is unacceptable, you are in charge, and that you will not allow this type of behavior. Remind her that you love her, and that you want her to grow up to be a fun loving friend that people want to be with and this behavior will do the opposite. Most parents will be understanding, and have gone through this before. It is not unusual. Ask for their support. I had a friend who, when my son wanted to stay and play, told him he could only play at her house if he promised to leave nicely. When I showed up to get him, he was all smiles because he knew she and I were a team and he wanted to play with her child again...

Good luck!

Transitions are tough. Just try to do it the same way each time (if you can) so she knows the routine and don't prolong it. Stay firm. You're going! That's it. It's not negotiable. She's not in charge. Pick her up and carry her out if necessary, kicking and screaming. Don't react. Don't bribe. Just get going, get her in the car seat or whatever. She'll get over it. You cn talk to her about it when she's calmer. Tell her how it's going to be...you're going to Aunt Jenny's. You'll play for awhile, have a cookie and then we're going to go home...just like we always do.

I'd have something in the car that can occupy her when you get back to it...some squishy fidet toy, something she can put that energy into.

My daughter has always done the same thing. She is now five and will still do it when I pick her up from a play date or from Grandma's house. She will cry frantically as if she never gets out of the house.

All I do is, when it's time to go I tell her we're leaving, and then we go. The countdowns, etc., never worked for us, it just created longer tantrums. I have literally carried her out kicking and screaming. It is very embarrassing, especially since her friends never seem to do that when they leave our house. But I have a no tolerance policy when it comes to tantrums, and I REFUSE to give in to whatever she is tantruming about.

Wishing you better luck and lots of patience!!!

What we've done with my son that seemed to work was in addition to giving him a count-down warning, we also would remind him at each interval (10 minutes, 5 minutes, etc) that "When we leave, there's going to be no crying, and no screaming, right? We're going to go the car very nicely." and we would ask him to repeat it back to us at each interval. Then as we were leaving, we'd remind him again, and also give consequences for the tantrum (a time-out, loss of a privilege, not being able to come back to that same place again for a while, loss of a toy, or something like that), and also tell him the reward if he did leave nicely with no tantrums (a trip to the library, a new little toy, or being able to watch a favourite video for example). Hope that helps!

Hi There, I have a 2 1/2 year old (I will be turning 33 this year). My biggest issue is leaving daycare, I have also tried the warnings and bribing. One thing that worked was "racing" to the car, I would say I'm going to get to the car faster than you, and she would take off towards that door, it has now become a daily ritual. In dire circumstances I would take away her greatest possession (blankie), I would tell her that she has to the count of 3 to head to the car or she loses her blankie until bed time, that did the trick as well.
Good Luck!!

I usually tell my kids that we are going to do something fun. "let's go home and color in our coloring books" or anything that they enjoy doing the most. They are still disappointed in having to leave their friends, but they are more willing to leave if they have something fun to look forward to.

My son did this at that age as well, before there were any siblings. Some kids just have problems with transitions and it may even be a control thing. You're doing all the right things - 10-min. warning, discussing beforehand, etc. You may want to have some sort of reward/consequence built in. There were times I had to pick him up kicking and screaming and put him in the car. Once he realized that I meant what I said, the tantrums lessened. He is 16 now and still tests the waters and needs to know where the parameters really are! Hold your ground!

You've recieved great responces toto this problem. I get them too with a 3 year old. What I find also works is treatening to leave her and I start walking. I of course stop not far away and call to her. She thinks that she is being left (which she isn't) and runs to catch up. Tantrum stops. On the way to the car, we talk about her favorite part of where we are leaving. Then we have a race to see who gets strapped in first, her 11 month sister or my 3 year old (who puts on the straps to her car seat). It beats fighting her!

You're being too nice. Your the mom, not the friend. When it's time to go, pick her up and go. She is craving structure, and when you give it consistently, she will reward you by behaving and she will always know what to expect. If she has ever gotten away with the result of a tantrum being you giving in to her than she is waiting for that again. dont let it happen.

I agree w/the previous advice....giving her warnings of when you're gonna leave & then just go....no bribing, etc. I also suggest that maybe during breakfast or while you're getting her dressed, tell her the plans for the morning & then do the same for anything that needs to take place after lunch or nap times. Explain how you expect her to behave & let her know, that yeah, some of the things might not be fun but if she behaves, then you could go to the park or the library to get some books. Validate her feelings that you know some of it's not fun to do but needs to be done. And that it will get done faster if she cooperates & is agreeable. Hope this helps & good luck!

I have a boy like that. He will be 3 in March. My other boy is 8 months. Brendon is always upset when we have to go somewhere. When we leave home and when we leave anywhere else. I try to make it a game. I do have an advantage. I have a DVD player in the car. He watches his favorite show. I let him get into his seat by himself, his independece, and then I strap him in. I bring plenty of toys and things that he wants to bring along. I tell him, "What would like to bring along on our trip". I know it is different with every child. I know that things will change. Somedays I just have to deal with the tantrums. If she can eat in the car, my son always eats apples and it is a good babysitter when I need some quiet in the car for a while. i just hand him a whole apple and then when he is done, he hands the core back to me.

Hi J.,
When my son was that age (he is now 4) he always responded better if I said we were going somewhere, for instance, "time to go home and see Daddy now". This always made him so happy that leaving was never a problem. I think it is probably a control issue, your daughter is realizing that she is not in control - boy, the power struggles begin early don't they! Try to make leaving into a positive thing but don't indulge this nonsense. If she won't cooperate, just pick her up, kicking and screaming and put her in the car seat - you are in control and she must not forget that. Lose control now and you'll really be in trouble. Later on, when she can handle it, you can give her more control but for now, Mom Rules!

It sounds like you're doing everything that every good mom would do. When I had this trouble, I began "counting down" EVERYTHING! This way, my son was always used to it. I practiced at home, TV shows, time to cleanup, etc... then he was used to the discipline. It finally got better, as I got more consistent. Children can read "The dread" on our face, as we WAIT for their "right on cue" tantrums. It's best NOT to feel "the dread" and these tantrums should go away.......for leaving anyway. She IS age-appropriate for throwing tantrums for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! :0)

Hang in there!

I am having this same issue with my son who will be 3 next week. I haven't found a great solution yet, but, I have started to get ready to go about 30 min earlier than I had planned so that when I "finally" do get him in the carseat, he's not screaming and throwing up (which is what he does when he throws a tantrum). I think also, it is helping to talk about it from the moment he wakes up. "We're going to go in the car today and go to the store", and even have a photograph up on the wall of the car and point to it. My son is a very late talker, just started mimicing about a month ago, so, photographs help as well as really prepping him beforehand. I have also had success with using the Happiest Toddler on the Block method...where you repeat in just a few words and in the same tone, your child's feelings..."no mommy, no car, no want to leave!!!" and then I say, but we have to go to the store...I have luck with this about 75% of the time. Maybe you try that (Happiest Toddler on the Block + Dr. Harvey Karp)

:)
S.
Mother of Sam - 3

I have suggestion,it may or may not work But it does for me. When you get ready to leave and she is acting up Just tell her then you can stay here and we will go. And just walk out the door (leave it open so she can see you leaving). And when you are in the store and she starts to act up let her throw the tantrum. And then laugh at it like it doesn't bother you and tell her you are going to leave her there and walk a little ways up past her but you can still see her and don't let her see you watching. After a while it will get old and she will come. It may take a few times, it sure did with me. But leaving her there to throw the tantrum and letting her know that it doesn't bother you will get to her eventually. I hope it works out.

Stop with the bribes and warning immediately. You can't reason with a three year old, they live for the moment. If you walk out without her she won't have anyone to give the tantram to. (leaving her safe of course) Stop giving her attention for the tantrams. Let her know that when you get home and put the baby to sleep you two can spend time together. (like read books, color...) Divert her attention to something else, not that she has to leave. The minute I stopped giving my kids attention while in a tantrum they stopped. It doesn't happen overnight. It's more of a way to get your attention than anything. My kids are 18 & 19 now, if I catered to their every tantrum they would not be the men they are today.

I have 3 kids that range from 13 to 3. My kids learned quickly that tantrums do not work. Whenever one of them would start one, I look at them with a very serious face and tell them that if they are going to throw a fit they need to do it better. I then give them suggestions on how to make it better. They soon know that it no effect on me and stopped what they were doing. I also do the I am leaving method. My kids get a 5 min and a 1 min warning and then I leave. I think my kids have each thrown a tantrum maybe twice. Consistancy is the only way to make anthing work. If when they have a tantrum you end up giving in and letting them have what they want (whether its a treat or 5 more minutes at the park) they will continue to do it beause it works. As they get older the consquence can get worse, like losing a privilage or a play date, but at 3 don't remember for long term punishments. I hope this helps- good luck!

Hi there! My name is C. and I am a stay at home mom too. I have 3 boys ages 11,9,6(almost 7) and a daughter age 2 1/2. It does get better. I don't know why it's called "terrible twos" because 3 seems to be the most challenging! Might I suggest that you give her a count down. Like start 30 minutes before you have to leave and ask her to gather toys or help you pick out a snack for her to take. Then 20 minutes, and 10 minutes, then 5 minutes and have her make sure she has everything she needs to take with her and then have her get the keys for you maybe and head out. Maybe this will work!! Let me know! Good luck!

J.,

Lets first remember that you are the boss not your daughter and what Mommy says goes no questions asked. Bribing your children will only teach them that they can nogotiate with you later in life on stuff that really matters, ie. drinking, dating, homework etc... But don't worry anyone with children has been there before. Me included. You might try telling your daughter that your leaving in 5 minutes set a timer and leave as soon as it goes off, don't stand in the door for any other length of time because otherwise you have just told her your not true to your words. And walk out the door and tell her that if she doesn't come your leaving without her. I have actually started walking away or out the door if they don't come quickly this gets there attention and lets them know Mommy is serious. This has worked with both my daughter who is now 6 and my son who is 4. They both know that when Mommy says its time to go its time to go and thats leaving the house, going to bed, brushing there teeth or anything. As for the tantrums try ignoring her completely do not give any attention what so ever unless she's going to hurt herself. Once they realize there not getting the attention it will usually stop. This will take a few tantrums before she gets it though she is only 2.

Good Luck!

I have 4 year old twins. My daughter is very strong-headed. My best advice is tell hyour daughter what to expect (i.e. we're going to leave now or in 5 minutes or whatever) and then simply follow-through. Don't let her tantrums sidetrack you into anything - an argument or discussion or negotiation or a change of plans. Just say what you're going to do and then do it. She'll eventually get the picture. Stay consistent.

Some kids just have a hard time handling transition. Tantrums are not acceptable. Tell her that she may cry (because crying is a healthy and good way of self-expression) but she may not have a tantrum (scream, throw her body down, throw things, etc.). Tell her before she has the tantrum, like when you are telling her you will be leaving in 5 minutes. Don't just yell out "We're leaving in 5 minutes." Instead, try calling her over and telling her "We are leaving in 5 minutes. When we leave you may not have a tantrum (or if she doesn't know what tantrum means you could say whatever she does during her tantrum-you may not scream and lay on the ground). You need to walk with me to the car." Then when it's time to go call her over again and say, "It is time for us to leave. Walk to the car with me right now. No screaming, no laying on the ground (or whatever she does during her tantrum)." She doesn't need a reason why it's time to leave. She just needs to know what you expect of her when it is time to leave. It may not work the first time so if she does still have a tantrum firmly tell her "NO" or "STOP NOW", pick her up and march her directly to the car without saying another word to her and put her in the car. This method has been effective with many hard-core tantrumers and often works on the first go. If it doesn't, don't give up on it. Use it every time and give her no extra attention (good or bad) for her tantrum behavior. The first time it works tell her "Good!" and give her lots of verbal positive reinforcement.

I am not sure what kind of advice you need because it sounds like you are doing everything right. I have experienced the same thing and my daughter is almost 4 yrs. The thing that works the best for my Emmaleigh is telling her ahead of time that when I give her the warning for it being time to go it will be time to go and if she doesn't go with an appropriate attitude her consequence will be ____________. Usually for Emmaleigh it is loss of computer time, loss of her favorite show, no book at bedtime just devotions. Something like that proves to be very effective for her. GOOD LUCK!!!

She's normal. My son went through this also. The best thing we did was give a 2 minute warning (it gears them up to leave) then when it is time to go, just tell her it is time to leave and leave. Don't argue, reason, bribe, plead, or anything. If she argues or resists pick her up and carry her out. She'll get the message. We did this for about 3 weeks. We have a few setbacks every once in a while, but it works like a charm. Our son knows what to expect and what will happen whether he comes willingly or not! Good luck.

Hi J.,
This was my son to a "T" at 2 1/2. He's now 3 1/2 and unfortunately, tantrums are still an issue, but not nearly as bad as they were last year. My recommendation is to be as consistent as possible and not let her tantrums control you in ANY way. Thankfully, my son no longer throws tantrums in public so much, but I used to be mortified by it, and I think my embarrassment made me a little harsher/angrier with him. I would say that as soon as she resists leaving, you pick her up and go, not in an angry way, just in a matter of fact way. Something I do a lot now is when my boys are crossing a boundary, I say "uh oh" in a sing-song voice to let them know they crossed it and then follow through with a consequence. You could also try taking away some privilege (like a favorite toy or blanky) every time she resists you. But, the best thing is to just follow through with leaving RIGHT AWAY. She's probably disappointed about leaving, but she's also trying to see if she can control you into letting her stay longer. It is really important that she learn that no matter what, you are in control. And that you can remain calm while doing it. You'll probably have to do this MANY times before it sinks in, but just ignore the people around you and do what you have to do. I know its tricky with a baby (I had the same issue), so you may need to plan ahead with having someone who can watch your baby while you pick up your toddler. I got a lot of good advice from a book called "love and Logic" which I recommend. Hang in there! You're not alone and there are probably a lot of sympathetic onlookers who've been there themselves! Hope this helps.

Hi there J.,
My goodness, I can see your frustration. I would like to say that it can be quite unnerving to see your child have a meltdown. I used to think my daughter was scheming, deliberately trying to sabotage my time line, or that she was so mad at me, that our relationship would not recover, because I became the source of her unhappiness when I would pick her up and carry her out the store, park, house, etc..
And then, of course, I started to question my parenting skills and would follow that up with a dose of 'am I a good parent'. However, a friend of mine came to the rescue. Here is what she said: Your child is acting developmentally appropriately. She has full range of her emotions without the sufficient ability to communicate them. Her best tool is the tantrum. It is her only way to show what she feels. Acknowledge how she feels, be empathetic and act calmly. IT is scary for her when you wind up. Be patient and act decisively.
I had to learn how long I could be patient, kind, empathetic and immobile, before I needed to pick her up and take her somewhere. Mostly I learned to try and not rush the process. When I could be right there, reflecting her feelings and naming them, "Wow, you are angry. You don't want to leave the park. You really enjoyed playing here. I can see how disappointed you are that it is time to go. Yes,.. I get sad when I have to leave. I am excited to come back next time. I sure am ready for a bananna and peanut butter at the house. Would you help me carry the bucket to the car?" the tantrums seem to be over much sooner.
SO, I would suggest that you do not take it personally, know that your daughter is doing the best she can with the tools she has, teach her more about her feelings and how to name them, use distraction as your best friend, and do not get wound up. Remember, that logic and good explanations do not really work when she is caught up in her feelings.
Oh, and when you blow it, get mad, or frustrated, cut yourself some slack because it is all a learning process.
Good luck,
Cody

I had to laugh when I read your request, because this is EXACTLY what my 2-1/2 year old does (she will be 3 in June). It's like she's posessed, she makes these crazy growling noises and throws herself on the ground, kicking and screaming. Soooo embarrassing! My husband calls it her rabid badger impersonation.

The only thing I have found that works is to give her warning about what's going to happen ("we're leaving in 2 minutes!") and try to keep her schedule fairly consistent. Not that any of that stops her from throwing herself on the ground and having a big tantrum every single time. So when I pick her up from preschool (or Grandma's house, or wherever), I just calmly go about the usual routine (talk to her teacher, get her backpack ready to go) and then when I am ready to leave, I tell her, "Isabelle, we're going now!" (in the brightest, cheeriest voice I can muster, and a little louder than usual, because of course she is SCREAMING) And then I walk out the door. It usually takes about 2 seconds and she comes tearing out the door after me. She may still continue to throw the fit as long as there is an audience (preschool parking lot, Grandma's neighbors, etc) but I just keep on walking straight to the car, put her (thrashing and screaming as she may be) right into her car seat, and drive off. As long as I ignore the tantrum, it usually plays itself out in 3-4 minutes.

What always puzzles me is that she continues to do it every day, as if it will make any difference at all and I will suddenly decide to let her spend the night at preschool? 2 year olds, what can you do? I'm pinning all my hopes on her growing out of it SOON, personally... someone told me when my now 5-year old was that age, that when kids are under any kind of stress (let's face it, a trip to the grocery store qualifies when you only have 2 years of life experience), they will save it all up and direct it toward the only people on the planet who will love them anyway: their parents. So, I guess in some backward way, it's a compliment that they act this way around us. LOL!

Hi J. ,I am right there with you on this issue. My third child is 2 1/2 years old and I really prepare myself when I take her places because she would throw a screaming mimi of a tantrum when it is time to go. So first I tell her my expectations of her before we get there, for when it is time to leave. That it is not fun for mommy to take her places if she acts like that when it is time to go. I tell her that "when mommy say's it is time to go ,we go. "deal?" So now when it is time to go I remind her of our deal and follow through with leaving when I say it is time to go. I might give her a couple extra mimutes. Doing this consistently over and over the exact same way has really helped. She dose sometimes throw a fit but not always and she calms down faster. Hope this helps, theres lots of good advice to your question.

Hi there!
I just read your message and can sympathize. A friend of mine reccommended a book called, "To Train Up A Child" when my daugther had just turned 8 months old,and I am soo thankful. My husband and I are Christians, so we of course go to the Bible for advice, but regarding the exact, practical, day-to-day nitty gritty child care stuff, we also needed additional insight on how to apply what we were reading from the Bible. This book is soo helpful, and I cannot say enough positive things about it. My daughter is now 4- very sweet, intelligent, obedient and joyful! You can check out the website for the afore mentioned book at "No Greater Joy.org". Hope this is useful to you too! Take care!

Hi J., The first thing I'd like to say is I've been there and I know how frustrating it is when a child decides to offload their feelings at the most inconvenient times. My son is now 10 and he still does it at times only it looks bigger. The good news is that at her age she can't yet articulate in words what's bothering her, but she is letting you know she's having some big feelings (temper tantrums). I have been involved with an organization in Palo Alto since my son was born, called Hand in Hand. The director is Patty Wipfler, she is the most brilliant parent educator you could ever meet in this lifetime of challenging child rearing. There website is www.handinhandparenting.org, phone ###-###-####. They have workshops all over the Bay Area, they have a great web-site with lots of usable information and shared stories. I urge to run to the nearest website, they taught me how to parent in a way I never thought imaginable. You will learn to see a tantrum in a whole different way. Good Luck! J. from Boulder Creek