18 Month Old Won't Sleep on Own Anymore... Used to Before Vacation??

Updated on July 13, 2008
K.K. asks from Austin, TX
14 answers

My son, 18 months, has always been an independent sleeper. Prior to our vacation I have dreamed of the day he napped with me. I take it back! He screams till he starts to vomit, we pick him up he falls asleep the second he is put in our bed. Naps or overnight, doesn't matter, even let him fall asleep and try to move him. He either wakes up immediately or within the hour crying. I kept hearing it was because we were in a different, strange environment? Never mattered before. We get home today and I let him "cry it out...25 minutes later I told my husband this isn't working. Picked him up and he is asleep in our bed as I type.
He has been in his crib since 6 weeks and always been a good sleeper...put him down and walk out. Where do I start?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for reminding me to get back to basics. How quickly we forget! On his 18 month check up had Doc check his ears...no problems. So we would rock and read, lay him down started with patting and singing. Next night same routine but sat beside crib singing no touching. Nap time the next day sat in the rocker and sang. We still have a bit more resistance than in the past but I say, "I love you and we all are going to rest, good night." I walk out and maybe a minute of crying and then he is fast asleep.
THANK YOU for the support.
Kate

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A.P.

answers from Austin on

He's definitely out of his routine. Maybe it's a great time to shake things up and convert to the toddler bed? a better "big boy" pillow? something. Good luck!

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L.H.

answers from Killeen on

Hi K.,
yes he learned on your vaction he couldget what he wanted by throwing a screaming crying fit ,,,so you have do undo it now because the longer you putit off the worst it will get he will figure it out,,tell him he's home this is his bed where big boys sleep yes he does understand you and that you are not going to pick him up and put him in your bed leave him a sippy cup with juice or water so he can get a drink from all his screamingbut you just have to put your foot down and stay on it
good luck L.

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

I agree with the poster who suggested taking him in to see about ear infections etc. My daughter got one every time we flew anywhere. We went through a similar thing with our son and met him halfway...we would lay in his bed until he fell asleep (only about ten minutes). He had the comfort and we got our bed back. I never felt that letting them cry it out, was very beneficial...obviously they are feeling insecure for some reason and you want them to know that you are there to depend on when they feel this way. Good luck, God bless.

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S.W.

answers from Austin on

I would like to recommend Dr. Ferber's 'Solve YourChild's Sleep Problems.'

http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp...

It has been a true god-send for me and for other moms I've recommended it to. Dr. Ferber's method makes learning to sleep on his own so much easier. I never thought I would let my son 'cry it out' but this really works.

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R.L.

answers from Austin on

Maybe you could try to move him to a toddler bed, so he has a big bed just like yours. My two older kids moved to a toddler bed at 18 months, and both transitioned quite well. Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

He has you where he wants you....it sounds absolutely horrible, but you have to let him cry.....it should only take a couple of days, but if it does not do not let him beat you. If you give in now....he will rule your roost forever.

Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Austin on

I have a two year old that we travel with quite a bit and it is the same for him. Also happens when either my husband or I go out of town without him. Any change in the normal routine messes up his going down on his own. If he is anything like my son it is just a phase. Give him a few weeks in your bed and he will probably be asking for "night, night" which in our case means sleeping in his crib.

Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Houston on

This does not sound like normal sleep disruptions from a vacation, change, etc. Please get the little guy to the doctor and be sure his ears, throat, etc are okay. It sounds to me like something is wrong, and I would want to be sure before proceeding with any more of the crying-it-out strategy. I did have to go through that with my 7 month old daughter after a vacation, but it was not nearly as dramatic. It just took three nights of crying, each getting shorter in duration. All the best to you. K.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

You might need to move him back in 'baby steps'. Tell him he can fall asleep in your bed but that you'll move him to his bed later. Then when you're ready for bed and he's asleep move him over. Do this for awhile until; he is secure again. He sounds scared and there's no point in terrifying the child. Then start reading the night time story in his bed - slowly move things back to his own room.

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J.M.

answers from Odessa on

Get back to your routine before vacation as soon as possible. It will take three days if you consistently "let him cry it out". Letting him in your bed is never a good idea. The vomiting is behavioral and that, too, will resolve itself. Do not give his behavior any more attention.

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J.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi K. - I am in the same predicament. We went on vacation for 2 weeks and my 15 month old slept in a pack n play for the most part (but not nearly as well as she slept at home). Now that we are at home she wakes up every hour or so in her crib and as soon as you pick her up she goes back to sleep. I am just trying to give her time to adjust. (it's been 3 weeks since we were back) We just got our 5 year old out of the bed with us and don't want to fall in the same trap but at the same time...I need sleep! I think she was very insecure on vacation and she is normally independent. I feel like vacation runied my child! Good luck!

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T.T.

answers from Houston on

Hi! Well . . . something similar happened with my son once when we went to visit my mom - she has a king size bed. He slept great in it while we were there. We returned home - and he would be restless, etc, with his floor bed (he never really was in a crib) Anyway, we just bought a queen size bed vs a toddler bed and put it in his room. He loved it. We just put pillows all around on the floor . . . just in case he rolled out. But, I guess, because it is so large, he never did. We never felt comfortable with any "cry it out" approach. Always felt that our baby's cry was his "voice" and would eventually turn into words for us to "hear" throughout his life. Maybe your little guy just doesn't like the "containment" of the crib since he had a taste of sleeping "free." You could try the floor bed if his room is safety proof. There's info about how to set it up within Montessori infant/toddler sites.

Hope this helps.

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H.L.

answers from Austin on

Hi K.,

I don't have any advice for you but I wanted you to know you are not alone. My son was ferberized at 6 months and we hated the process. After 10 days of him crying for an hour to 3 hours we gave up and tried shush and pat method. That worked great and he slept in his crib from there on - 11 hours straight!. Unil we took our vacation to Lake Tahoe when he was 15 months old. We took our pack n' play but he kept waking up and crying because it wasn't his crib and it wasn't his room. So after two restless nights we put him in bed with us. He still woke up frequently but he would see our faces and lie back down and sleep. When we returned home he did not want to sleep in his crib anymore. My husband and I were sick of the idea of letting him cry so we let him sleep in our bed. That was April 2006 and two years later he is still sleeping with my husband. I moved out because I am a super light sleeper and I wasn't getting any sleep.

Now we have almost 5 months old daughter. We are trying to get her used to sleeping alone in the crib without CIO method. It's a slow process but at least I am not sleeping with her anymore while my husband still sleeps with our son.

So the lesson here is if you don't want him sleeping with you two years from now, find a way to get him out. Now that our son is 3.5 years old, we are trying to get his room ready so he will be excited about sleeping in his own bed. We're keeping our fingers crossed that this will work.

Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Killeen on

Letting him "cry it out" once is def not going to work..You have to consistantly do it and not give in. It took my daughter a week..and now she's GREAT! And yes, you will lose sleep and yes, it's VERY hard to leave your precious baby crying but it's worth it. Always go comfort him ever 15-30 minutes but do your best not to pick him up. (We're only human, you simply have to pick them up sometimes) But start out without doing it. Stay by his side constantly if you have to, if he falls asleep with you there that's an improvement! Then move to a little more dramatic step..say letting him fall asleep with you across the room comforting him..Then so on and so on.

But you're exactly right, it doesn't just work on one try. And most children (mine especially) will fall asleep mid-cry. It's amazing if you're just patient enough to get to that time.

PS...Right now at this moment my daughter has done it..lol. She's in a sitting position leaned forward..fast asleep. (of course I'll move her soon once she's finally really out)

I wish you luck!

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